The donkey who fell down into a well

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well..

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up..

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well, and happily trotted off!





Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.



Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
Free your mind from worries - Most never happen..
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Give more. Expect less




NOW ....... Enough of that crap. The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.



MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

(thanks Henry!)

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Always Ask - Never Assume !!

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hangar.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go!'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

He responded, 'I need to get some close up shots.'

'But Why, I don't understand?!' repeated the pilot, a bit puzzled.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN; I need the shots the news this evening!' he insisted,

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?!!'

"Life is short. Drink the good wine first"

(thanks Maribeth)

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Irish Birth Control

Mrs. Donovan was walking down
O'Connell Street in Dublin when
she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye!
Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye
and yer hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee
little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going
to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for
ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.'

They then parted ways.



Some years later they met again.

The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan,
how are ye these days?'

She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'

The Father asked, 'And tell me,
have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father!
Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful!
How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome
to blow out yer fookin candle.'

(thanks Bill & Jim)



...apologies to 'Uncle Ronnie', I just loved the pic! lol


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a winter poem...

'WINTER'

by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

Shit it's cold!

The End

(thanks Mike)

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